How to Win at Work, Home, and Everywhere Else!

All I do is win, win, win no matter what!

That song never gets old for me. It literally makes me smile as I bob my head while pointing my finger in the air, spitting out the words like a declaration of past accomplishments and victories to come. 

I love the feeling of winning. Don’t you? I mean, what’s the alternative? Losing? No thank you. 

This article is all about the energy of winning and how to experience more of it and what it means for you and everyone else in your circle of influence. 

So, when it comes to winning well, how do we get this done? One word. Awareness! Winning is a feeling. It’s an expression, and emotion. It can also be a goal. No matter what it is, I want to make this very clear right away: winning is a way of being. 

Being that we are humans, we have a vast array of emotions and even more opportunities to explore and express them. 

If you were able to fully and appropriately express your thoughts/feelings, and help others do the same, what might be the benefit to you, those around you, and your overall satisfaction of your job and home life? 

Our behaviors and the actions we take are heavily influenced by the way we want to feel. Those feelings are elicited by a core thought, whether conscious or unconscious. 

Everything we experience has a purpose and emotions are the signals for our mind and body to notice and act upon. This is why it is imperative to build our emotional awareness to a place in which you realize that our emotions are not automatic, but come from our interpretations of an events. 

Perspective is everything.

The lens in which you view the world are influenced by the way you take in information and make value judgments on that information according to our values, beliefs, and thoughts. Thus, the combination informs us how we are indeed, experiencing winning and losing. 

There is a framework that I teach in which I refer to “above the line living”. 

Above the line living is a space where I invite people to play to experience a more expansive lifestyle, one where the judgement we have on ourselves and others lessen. This is extremely freeing and allows for a more authentic way of being. It’s where the “real” winning is done. It’s a place where you can experience more joy, peace, acceptance, patience, synergy, smiles, high fives and money.

Yes! Money! Who like ease money (not easy money - but I will take that too!)

So what does this framework look like and how can I use it to win at work, home and everywhere else? I’ll show you.

Above the Line Living

Below are 7 different levels or lenses in which you can see the world. You will notice that each level has a noun designated to it as well as a core thought (T), emotion (E), and action (A).  Also for each level, you will also notice different ways winning and losing shows up with the associate words and phrases. As you read through the list below, take a mental note where it is in your life you tend to play and with whom. 

7 - The Creator

Thought - Non Judgement

Emotion - Absolute Passion

Action - Creation

win/lose:  no such thing as winning and losing

words/phrases: life is not a game to be won or lost, only played, unconditional love, there is no good or bad, right or wrong, fearlessness

6 - The Visionary

Thought - Synthesis

Emotion - Joy

Action - Wisdom

win/lose:  everyone wins all of the time

words/phrases: we, empathy, intuition, everything has meaning/value, oneness, help others  realize their potential, lead with presence more than actions, innovation, authenticity, power in partnership, we all have gifts, everything always works out as it unfolds, flow

5 - The Opportunist

Thought - Reconciliation

Emotion - Peace

Action - Acceptance

 win/lose:  we both win, if not, let’s play a different game

words/phrases: I understand you, success comes from within, there are no problems, only opportunities,  confidence, calmness, fulfillment, openness, little judgement, curious, proactive, entrepreneurial, transparent, solution focused and action oriented

4 - The Caregiver

Thought - Concern

Emotion - Compassion

Action - Service

win/lose:  you win, I’m ok

 words/phrases: gratitude, caring, trust, generosity, helpful, teaching, self-care, volunteering, supporting, playfulness, noting taken personally, I’ll do it, do you need help with that, nurturing, no need to compete, lead from heart, fix, heal, faith

3 - The Rationalizer

Thought - Responsibility

Emotion - Forgiveness

Action -Cooperation

win/lose: I win, it’s ok if you do too

 words/phrases: respond vs. react, tolerate, cope, forgive, everyone is different and that’s ok, relief, peace of mind, justification, release, worry doubt and fear vanish, I’m sure this will all, work out fine, focus on short term goal achievement, can avoid block and release negativity 

_______________above/below the line______________

*it’s important to note, the Level 1 and 2 are instinctual. They are where the flight/fight response signals live. They keep us alive. Thing is though, not everything is a life or death situation so when we bring that energy to our everyday life, it may not be favorable.  

2 - The Fighter

Thought - Conflict

Emotion - Anger

Action - Fight/Defiance

win/lose: I win, you lose (the only way a win is felt here is if someone lose

 words/phrases: I’m right you’re wrong, I know better than you, hatred, resentment, pride,

entitlement, blame, greed, discord, antagonize, struggle, resistance, stress, control ,

force, my actions are justified, If I want something done right I have to do it myself

1 - The VictimThought - Victim

Emotion - Apathy

Action - Lethargy

win/lose: I lose, you win

words/phrases: I hate myself, I have no choice, I don’t matter, I’m not valuable or valued, guilt, self-doubt, hopeless, powerless, embarrassment, fear, worry, anxiety, work in crisis mode, avoid confrontation, low self-esteem, won’t move decisions forward, unproductive

Interesting yes? You may have found yourself noticing that you recognize yourself on multiple levels, and that’s ok. It’s important to note, none of us “are” a level. We all experience these levels in our lives and even daily. So some introspective questions for you.

Taking in consideration the list above, where do you see the levels play out in your:

Place of work?

Intimate relationship?

Social relationships? 

Relationships with your siblings, parents, children?

When you think about your future? 

Ability to communicate what you mean?

Overall physical health and vitality?

Also considering your emotional health as it relates to the levels, in what of the areas of your life are you fully and appropriately expressive of your emotions? 

In what areas are you more repressed in your expression of your emotions?

Are there any differences in the last two questions and if so, then why?

Last question and it’s a whopper of one - ready?

If you were able to fully and appropriately express your thoughts/feelings, and help others do the same, what might be the benefit to you, those around you, and your overall satisfaction of your job and home life? 

I’d thought you’d recognize that. I recommend that you allocate some real time into answering these questions, you may find some nuggets that will most certainly have you like……….

“All I do is win! win! win!”

And if you goin’ in, put your hands in the air and make ‘em stay there!”

P. o s i t i v e E. n e r gy A. c t i v a t e s C. o n s t a n t E. l e v a t i o n