Calm the Thanksgiving Stress: Tips for Managing Anxiety and Anger

Yes, it is possible to feel Gratitude in the Chaos of Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving can feel like the Olympics of emotional triggers, especially if you're someone who battles generalized anxiety.

Maybe it’s the expectation to feel joy when you’re managing all the hospitality tasks.

Maybe it’s how you want to enjoy the company but feel on edge with detected you-know-who’s judgemental microexpressions. 

Or it's not even it’s the physical toll of showing up for everyone after a short but intense week at work (maybe even extra school events)—with the persistent tension in your upper back, or the fatigue that seems to settle into your bones. 

You’re not alone in this. Many of us feel the stress bubbling beneath the surface, making it hard to truly relax.

But here’s the thing: none of this is a surprise to you. 

That’s good news in a way because we can prepare for these moments. Just like we train for the big challenges in life, we can train for Thanksgiving too—not to win, but to simply get through it with more ease and less frustration.

Coping with Holiday Stress with a Plan

If you’re reading this far, you’re looking for tips so you're on the right track. 

1. What are you responding to?

If you’ve noticed Thanksgiving brings out that sense of overwhelm, start by identifying what tends to send your anxiety spiraling. 

Consider sensory reasons for feeling on edge:

• Is it the chaos of too many people talking at once, music and football game?

• Is it having to hear people chew and speak at the same time?

Is perfectionism creeping up in some ways:

• The fear of saying or doing the “wrong” thing? 

• Pressure to look like you have it all together?

Search for ways to improve in self responsibility:

• How do you respond to the most annoying person in the room? 

• How do you contribute to the overwhelm this week?

Once you know your triggers, you can create a plan to create more calm moments.

2. How will you respond?

The reality is that Thanksgiving is around the corner so not much is in your control to change. Therefore, we are going to respond with small practices that can be repeated.

The Power of Small Practices

1. Anchor Yourself: When you feel anxiety rising, focus on your breath to use grounding techniques. Notice something you can see, something you can touch, and something you can hear. This simple reset helps bring you back to the present moment while forcing you to stop the momentum of a ruminating thought.

2. Set Boundaries Ahead of Time: If family dynamics are a source of tension, plan ahead for how much time you’ll spend and what topics you’ll engage in. Plan to politely redirect a conversation or step away either entirely or for a moment to regroup. Remember that a boundary is not an ultimatum. You are preplanning an ‘if/then’ option for yourself. 

3. Let Go of Perfection: Thanksgiving doesn’t have to look like a picture-perfect holiday card. You don’t have to say that you love work. Your children don’t have to be immune to sugar crashes. It’s okay if things go sideways— roll with it. Give yourself permission to be human.

3. How will you recover?

With gratitude, of course.

It is no secret that gratitude has a profoundly positive effect on recovering from stressful situations.

Gratitude isn’t about pretending everything is perfect or ignoring the hard stuff.

Gratitude is easier to feel in reflection moments. It is easier when we extend grace to people who are flawed. 

Gratitude can become less about obligation and more about empowerment when you are working on your anxiety and irritability. 

Training for Life Beyond Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is just one storm in a lifetime. By making this a practice now, you’re building the resilience to navigate anxiety, not just during the holidays but in everyday life. 

It’s about being proactive, recognizing your patterns, and giving yourself grace when things feel hard.

Because at the end of the day, finding gratitude isn’t about forcing a feeling—it’s about choosing calm over chaos, even if that choice needs to be made over and over again. 

And that’s something worth celebrating.