Calm the Thanksgiving Stress: Tips for Managing Anxiety and Anger

Yes, it is possible to feel Gratitude in the Chaos of Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving can feel like the Olympics of emotional triggers, especially if you're someone who battles generalized anxiety.

Maybe it’s the expectation to feel joy when you’re managing all the hospitality tasks.

Maybe it’s how you want to enjoy the company but feel on edge with detected you-know-who’s judgemental microexpressions. 

Or it's not even it’s the physical toll of showing up for everyone after a short but intense week at work (maybe even extra school events)—with the persistent tension in your upper back, or the fatigue that seems to settle into your bones. 

You’re not alone in this. Many of us feel the stress bubbling beneath the surface, making it hard to truly relax.

But here’s the thing: none of this is a surprise to you. 

That’s good news in a way because we can prepare for these moments. Just like we train for the big challenges in life, we can train for Thanksgiving too—not to win, but to simply get through it with more ease and less frustration.

Coping with Holiday Stress with a Plan

If you’re reading this far, you’re looking for tips so you're on the right track. 

1. What are you responding to?

If you’ve noticed Thanksgiving brings out that sense of overwhelm, start by identifying what tends to send your anxiety spiraling. 

Consider sensory reasons for feeling on edge:

• Is it the chaos of too many people talking at once, music and football game?

• Is it having to hear people chew and speak at the same time?

Is perfectionism creeping up in some ways:

• The fear of saying or doing the “wrong” thing? 

• Pressure to look like you have it all together?

Search for ways to improve in self responsibility:

• How do you respond to the most annoying person in the room? 

• How do you contribute to the overwhelm this week?

Once you know your triggers, you can create a plan to create more calm moments.

2. How will you respond?

The reality is that Thanksgiving is around the corner so not much is in your control to change. Therefore, we are going to respond with small practices that can be repeated.

The Power of Small Practices

1. Anchor Yourself: When you feel anxiety rising, focus on your breath to use grounding techniques. Notice something you can see, something you can touch, and something you can hear. This simple reset helps bring you back to the present moment while forcing you to stop the momentum of a ruminating thought.

2. Set Boundaries Ahead of Time: If family dynamics are a source of tension, plan ahead for how much time you’ll spend and what topics you’ll engage in. Plan to politely redirect a conversation or step away either entirely or for a moment to regroup. Remember that a boundary is not an ultimatum. You are preplanning an ‘if/then’ option for yourself. 

3. Let Go of Perfection: Thanksgiving doesn’t have to look like a picture-perfect holiday card. You don’t have to say that you love work. Your children don’t have to be immune to sugar crashes. It’s okay if things go sideways— roll with it. Give yourself permission to be human.

3. How will you recover?

With gratitude, of course.

It is no secret that gratitude has a profoundly positive effect on recovering from stressful situations.

Gratitude isn’t about pretending everything is perfect or ignoring the hard stuff.

Gratitude is easier to feel in reflection moments. It is easier when we extend grace to people who are flawed. 

Gratitude can become less about obligation and more about empowerment when you are working on your anxiety and irritability. 

Training for Life Beyond Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is just one storm in a lifetime. By making this a practice now, you’re building the resilience to navigate anxiety, not just during the holidays but in everyday life. 

It’s about being proactive, recognizing your patterns, and giving yourself grace when things feel hard.

Because at the end of the day, finding gratitude isn’t about forcing a feeling—it’s about choosing calm over chaos, even if that choice needs to be made over and over again. 

And that’s something worth celebrating.

Why People Misunderstand Anxiety

Did you ever play the game called “telephone” growing up? One kid whispered a secret message into the ear of the kid next to him. That kid then whispered the “same” message into the ear of the kid next to her. On and on each kid would whisper the message around the circle until you came to the last kid, who would then announce the secret message aloud.

Often the final message sounded nothing like the original message. That’s because every person has their own way of hearing and sharing information. Sometimes it’s accurate – sometimes it’s not.

In this way, you could say that language is a necessary evil. Without it we would not be able to share ideas and information with each other. But when each person has their own language filters, information can become skewed.

If you are seeking an anxiety disorder coach, we are here to assist you. Personal information and language filters can make discussing and understanding anxiety disorders difficult. While we all experience anxious moments from time to time, 18% of adults in the United States are actually affected by a form of anxiety disorder.

But how many times have you heard a friend or a coworker say something like, “I was totally having a panic attack yesterday when you didn’t show up!” They weren’t actually having a panic attack, they were merely concerned you were late.

When everyone assumes they have an issue with anxiety, they believe they have first-hand experience of the disorder and therefor know what it is. But using certain language that may or may not be accurate to convey a common feeling (ie – being nervous before a job interview) is not the same thing as truly knowing something.

Panic Disorder VS Social Anxiety

There are two main types of anxiety disorder and for this discussion, it’s important to make the distinction between each.

Panic Disorder

People who have been diagnosed with and suffer from panic disorder believe very strongly that the “panic attacks” they experience mean something is physically very wrong with them. For instance, many sufferers believe they are having a heart attack. Some may believe the dizziness and shortness of breath is a result of some serious and undiagnosed illness such as a brain tumor.

Social Anxiety Disorder (Social Phobia)

People with social anxiety disorder experience anxiety when faced with social situations. They do not believe their anxiety is related to an illness or disease, yet have little control over their fear of social interactions. Their anxiety becomes debilitating when the person feels they may be singled out, embarrassed or ridiculed.

People who suffer from social anxiety disorder will do anything to alleviate their fear. This means decreasing the amount of social interactions they have on a daily basis as much as possible. This disorder negatively impacts the person’s ability to emotionally connect with others, and holds them back in their career and academic life.

Because of language discrepancies, those who don’t have an anxiety disorder sometimes believe they do, while those that do may assume they don’t.

The main point to get across here is this:

It is normal to feel anxious, fearful and worried from time to time. But feeling anxiety on a daily basis, to the point where you are concerned for your physical health or are compromising your career and personal relationships is not normal.

Anxiety Disorders Are Treatable

No one should have to live with a debilitating anxiety disorder. The good news is, anxiety disorders are treatable. A therapist can help to uncover the root cause of the fear and provide tools and strategies to cope.

If you or a loved one is interested in exploring treatment, please contact me today. I would be happy to speak with you about how I may be able to help.