Surviving Your Company Holiday Party: As an Introvert
COMPANY WIDE HOLIDAY PARTY!! YAAY!
Said no introvert ever.
From the conversations we have had in recent weeks with our clients, it appears like the corporate holiday party has once again become for the most inconvenient end of the year obligation. Annoyance overload!
So if you are someone who prefers to respond verse initiate conversations or get super drained from being around too many people, especially the bouncing off the wall loud ones, as a fellow introvert, I got your back!
We have helped several of our clients through certain annoyances and fears such as:
fear of rejection
not knowing what to to say or how to respond
worrying if other people can tell your uncomfortable
the discomfort from being in-authentic in order to keep the peace
I am going to share with you the top tips we found ourselves giving to our clients to help them survive the party and not be wiped out for the next morning.
Beware of the Time B#### (Knowing your limit)
Many holiday parties tend to be at the end of the week and even worse, shortly after work on a Friday. For most people, this is not ideal. For an introvert, it can be downright rude. Look, you are an adult and you are in charge of your free time, right? It is okay to give yourself a wellness curfew. This will help you to feel that the time obligation for you to show face at the party is more manageable. You can be respectful of others wishes and honor obligations all the while saving some energy in the tank for the weekend ahead.
Self Soothe
Are you sensitive to the loud noises and all of the extras nuances at big parties? If so, I recommend the you take a break by going to the bathroom or stepping outside for fresh air. Treat it as a retrieval just for you to be able to enjoy yourself and not an escape and a time to be miserable.
Do you tend to overthink about small perceived awkward moments and wonder all night if anyone else noticed how weird you were (or think you are)? Practice grounding yourself in your thoughts that are based in truth and not fear leading up to the party. Truth is everyone is thinking about themselves twice as much as they are thinking about the collective - e-v-e-r-y-one.
Avoid Drinking More Than One Drink An Hour
Remember your water and pacing. It is easy to misjudge your intake when you are nervous or restless, or better yet, nervous and restless. If you find yourself wanting to drink to calm your nerves, take a moment for yourself remember, dosage is everything. Know your dose to get a bit comfy and not sloshed.
On that note, plan safe arrangements to get home! Safety first :)
Ok Great, But Small Talk
This is when you use your “spidey senses.” Scope the room, find someone else who is by themselves, prep your self to be interested, and initiate the conversation. Enter, courage! Trust me, as an introvert, courage is one of the most essential habits to work on and a party is a great opportunity to do so.
Think of this as treating people how you would like to be treated. Letting others know that they are noticed and seen is a good thing. Plus, it is typically easier to hear one person over a group when music is playing. When approaching someone, access your extroverted side. Everyone has one. Get crazy! Kidding.
Focus Your Self Talk
Think to yourself “I could like this person.” Intentionally focus on the opportunity for you to have a positive outcome and keep it realistic. Another self talk example , “This person seems nice.” It is common for people to be kind to someone who comes to sit or stand with them at a party. Even introverts can connect randomly and end up having a great time. Perhaps you might make a new connection!
F.R.O.M. is Your Friend: From / Recreation / Occupation / Motivation
This is a classic social skills conversation starter that comes from sales research. The research is based on how to create a comfortable conversation without high pressure sales tactics. Turns out this is approach is great for all of us when we are striking up a conversation with someone we don’t know that well.
(From) Where do you live?
(Recreation) What is fun around that area?
(Occupation) Who else is in your department?
(Motivation) What led you to this career?
Don’t Try To Be Interesting, Be Interested
It is too much pressure on yourself. The best way to keep small talk from being awkward is to show the other person that you find them and their answers interesting. This goes back to the beloved quote from Maya Angelou “People will forget what you said, People will forget what you did, but people will not forget how you mean them feel” (Also, another reminder to not replay or overthink any one thing you said in a conversation).
Ultimately, holiday parties do not have to be something to dread. Focus on what makes sense for you as an individual and remember, as an introvert you are great at listening and responding. Stay curious, interested, and most of all, have fun! You earned it!
Did you have your holiday party already? What do you do to make the best of it? Leave in the comments below.
